Don't you just hate it when plans you've made don't work out, or when dreams you envisioned are just dreams after all? I know I do.  I usually think that I know what's best for me and for my kids and my family, but sometimes God has a funny way of showing me that I really don't know anything afterall.  This whole homeschooling decision has been frustrating, overwhelming, time consuming and an ever present nagging in my head. 

God closed one door(Allendale Christian School) which was my first choice for Trenton to go to school at, then he closed another door(Walker Charter Academy) which he got accepted to but is currently 78th on the waiting list, which left us with another option(homeschool), which was the only other option for schooling(except public school which we aren't going to do) but in my mind that wasn't really an option because I didn't want to do it in the first place and I only told Barak that I would think about homeschooling because in my mind Door #1 or Door #2 would certainly work out and I wouldn't really have to think about option #3 anyway.  Little did I know....

I'll just tell you right now that I am a reluctant homeschooler on many many levels(which if you know me at all you already know that).  If fact, my reasons for NOT homeschooling are longer than my list of reason FOR homeschooling. Most of the reasons are probably just me and my attitude and opinions on homeschoolers that I know personally, or know of, or have seen or heard about, or from talking to people who were homeschooled and hearing their take on it.   Some of my fears are rational, some are clearly irrational.    

Will I ever think that homeschooling is 100% right for us?  Probably not.  But I think I've started to come to terms with it and am beginning to realize that it is right for us, for right now.  It's taken me a LONG time to accept it though. 

And I know you are already thinking i'm crazy because I already taught Trenton Pre-K at home and it was fine and it was fun and Trenton learned alot. 

All true.  

BUT that was PreK, and PreK doens't really matter very much.  You very leisurely learn your ABCs and 123s and colors and such, which every good mom will teach their children anyway, and it's only like 2 days a week for like a half hour... So I didn't really feel like I was doing anything special. I was just doing my job as a mom. Kindergarten will be different i'm sure.  It's more important, even though technically it's not really a state requirement.

But anyway, I digress...back to the topic at hand.

Cons of homeschooling according me me:

1. I'm not a teacher.  I'm not a teacher, I should probably leave the teaching to a professional.  I don't have special training in childhood education and I'm not that creative.  I'm pretty crafty but i'm not creative. All my really good ideas I probably got from Pinterest or someone's blog.   I can't think of new and exciting ways to teach something.  I'm not aware of the different ways children learn.I don't know all the different teaching styles.  I'm just not teacher material.  I'm pretty impatient as a person and I just know that I will get frustrated if someone is not learning fast enough for my liking. 

2. He won't get a well rounded education.  And I don't just mean a well rounded education in the sense of subjects he's learning, I'm talking about all the extra stuff you learn from school like being in a structured environment and learning how to learn in groups, and how to relate to other people around you.  I know I can join Homeschool groups for the socialization aspect of it, but it's not the same as being in school every day and seeing your friends and sharing in their experiences. I just can't help thinking that he might miss out of things. 

3.  Homeschoolers are weird.  I know you are thinking the same thing.  I know i'm not the only person that thinks this.  There are definetly some weird homeschool people out there, i've met some of them.  I don't want to be labeled as a homeschool mom(irrational fear? maybe.)  If I homeschool I'll probably have to buy some jean skirts and dresses...oh wait, i'll probably have to sew them myself, every homeschool mom sews right? My child will priobably be socially inept. We will have to start listening to Classical music all the time. (sorry Mozart but we like a little Avril Lavigne and Dave Matthews Band in this house), I will have to have at least 8 kids.  We will probably have to go get one of those conversion vans and throw away our TV and Disney movies. And I just know that somewhere along the road i'm going to have to buy an American Girl Doll--i'm pretty sure that is a requirement. 

Okay, I know those were some gross over-generalizations, but i'm sure you were thinking all that too, that's why I don't want the label, because those things are not us.  Besides, aren't homeschool kids supposed to be super smart?  What if Trenton turns out....not so super smart?  That would be a big homsechool FAIL if there ever were one. 


4.  Homeschoolers just don't 'get it'.  Let's face it, homeschoolers are the studious type. They don't exactly get jokes and they aren't very "street smart". My husband was homeschooled and he's very smart, he knows how to do a lot of things, but there was always certain things he just didn't "get".  In conversations I would be like, remember how in school.......OH, right, you didn't go to school.  "Or, remember in the movie Karate Kid.."  No, doesn't ring a bell??  Oh right...homeschooler I forgot.

 I remember in college Barak and I would watch all those old movies from the 90s that he never  got to watch, or listen to music that he never got to listen to or play games and cards that he never got to play.  I don't want Trenton to miss out on that stuff.  And it's not that that was 'bad' stuff, but so many homeschool families think that there is no value to watching movies or listening to music unless it's black and white films or classical movies. There is a place for Mozart and Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, but I think there's a place for Back To The Future and Counting Crows too( The homeschoolers have no idea what i'm talking about there...see what I mean?) There's got to be a balance I think. 

Will I teach Trenton about Evolution, and Greek Mythology, and about other religions and faiths, different music styles? Absolutely(not in Kindergarten obviously).  Not that our family may believe in those things but I think it's important that he learn things about the world around him so when he's older he can defend what he believes and have an understanding about what others believe, because you can't argue what you don't understand.  I don't want Trenton to be sheltered so much that when he gets into the 'real world' he will not know how to function in it.  I don't want him be so over protected that he will hate me for having homeschooled him. Maybe he will anyway, who knows?

There are probably other reason floating around in my head about why I dont think I should homeschool.  I still have my own doubts, but I feel like the doors have been closed for a reason and i'm ready to just embrace this homeschooling journey. 


So what then are my reasons FOR homeschooling?

1.  I can pick what to teach.  This is always a good thing.  If I don't like the teaching style or the curriculum i can just get something different.  That wouldn't happen in a school setting. I can add in Bible teaching and not have to worry about what my child is learning at school that I might not want him learning about at that time. 

2.  We can sleep in, and do school in our PJ's if we want(I'm sure we won't because i'm much too tradional to allow that to happen).  but the fact that we CAN do school in our PJs is a plus. 

3.  More time to spend with my kids.  I always hear so many moms say they wish they had more time with their kids during the day.  A few hours in the morning before school and a few hours in the evenign after school are just not enough.  I'll really be able to get to know Trenton better and be there as he discovers new things and learns about the world around him. 


So there you have it.  THe pros and the cons according to me.  Now you don't have to ask me anymore how I feel about homeschooling.  I'm sure my attitude will change once I get started , but for the here and now that's how I feel.